If you blinked or did not pay attention during today’s Gospel lesson you might have missed the matron saint of helicopter parents, the mother of the sons of Zebedee. Mrs. Z--let's call her--did her very best to swoop in to ensure that her little babies James and John were going to get the very best that they deserved. In the process she created quite a tense situation between the other disciples and these two brothers. Additionally, she did her very best to make things awkward for Jesus himself.
Not to get too complicated or focused on jargon, but this is a classic case of what is therapeutically called “triangulation.” Now triangulation is when an issue or person, which is referred to as an identified patient creates anxiety or stress such that people who are usually on the same side end up on different points on a triangle with the patient in between. A common example is when a child asks mom to go to the movies and when she says no the child heads over to dad to see if he is on the same team as mom or is he the weak link?
Jesus’ response in today’s Gospel perfectly exemplifies how we might go about challenging these tricky triangulating moments in our own lives. Notice what happens in the story. Mrs. Z approaches Jesus with a request, like any good helicopter parent. She asks that her two sons get the places of honor in his kingdom, just like a mom might try to get her son’s C plus bumped up to a B minus. Jesus does not let this issue come between his disciples and himself. In fact, he does not reply to the mother, but instead he speaks directly to the sons breaking the triangle altogether. As the disciples proclaim that they can drink the cup that Jesus will drink, the triangulation shifts.
On one side of this quarrel are James and John and on the other are the rest of the disciples with Jesus’ decision causing a rift in this movement. Instead of letting it fester even for a moment, Jesus masterfully turns their conversation on its head to ensure that his followers understand what greatness truly looks like. He cuts through the triangle to be in relationship with all. Jesus wants this type of relationship with us too.
Lent is the perfect time to examine our own relationships with others. Are we loving things and using people, instead of the other way around? Are we coveting what others have and allowing that anxiety to create distance between our neighbors and us? Do we allow lust to creep into our hearts such that we distort how we see spouse, friend, or neighbor? Is it possible that a difference of opinion has sprouted into anger such that we can no longer be in relationship with someone else? All of these triangles can so easily exist in our lives. Jesus, though bids us to cut through these disconnections.
It will not be so with you. Do not allow greed, anger, lust, or other sins to build walls between us. Instead, look for ways to serve others. For when we lay down our lives for others something powerful happens. Chiefly it puts us in contact with the full life that Christ yearns for us to also live, but practically speaking when we serve others, when we become vulnerable something transformative happens. When one voluntarily gives away one’s power to serve another the relationship between the two changes. It is much harder to be mad at someone who humbly serves.
When you feel like you are being surrounded by helicopter parents, overly-involved citizens, and those who are obsessed with greed, lust, anger, or some other sin, seek ways to serve that person. It is not easy, but it will break the triangles that exist. And, more importantly it will fill you with the love of Christ and help others to know the Good News of Jesus all the more!
No comments:
Post a Comment