Choose To Love

Love. It is a powerful four letter word. Yet, I feel like it is lost in a world of Hallmark cards, Russell-Stover’s chocolate covered cherries, and Kay Jewelry boxes. Long before I was born, love began to shift from a verb to a noun. While that was dangerous enough, now love has been so corrupted by advertising agencies, big corporations, and even well-meaning people that its most common purpose is to peddle new laundry machines, station wagons, and even membership at a church. Love is not what it used to be.

When I was a kid I had it out for my sister and she had it out for me. There was barely any love between us. We could not sit in the same room, much less say to one another with any real honesty that we loved one another. Maybe we had conflicting personalities or perhaps we were just too different in age, but we fought like Alabama and Auburn. It was not very pretty. One time after I got angry because of something my sister did that I have now long forgotten, I asked politely if she could tie my shoe. While she was lacing my shoes I took my revenge and I kicked her over as she was innocently trying to help me. Even being 8 years older than me this required that she tell mom.

As my mom sat me down to talk about what I had done, I felt this furious emotion rising up within me. My mom asked, “Why did you do it?” I replied, “Because Elin” (my sister) “makes me so angry.” This was the first time, but hardly the last time that I heard the following words, “No one else can make you angry.” Growing from a frustrated child to confused adolescent I continued to allow my emotions to make me visibly distraught. In one fit of rage, my mom told me, “Anger is a part of life, you always have a choice of what to do with your emotions.” I am still learning this lesson of the difference between emotions and responses, but what does this have to do with love? Stick with me.

I still struggle with emotions. I imagine most people do. We live in a high-paced world in which processing emotions falls somewhere below taking out the trash and somewhere above reupholstering the couch on my to-do list. Yet, emotions have very little to-do with love. Jesus’ summary of God’s commandments shines as a beacon to follow through whatever sea of emotions washes over us. Love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

This seems simple enough. Except, what about when I don’t feel warm and fuzzy around my neighbor? What about when I feel more excited about buying a new bow tie than I do about showing mercy, compassion, and kindness to my annoying acquaintance? What about when I feel angry because I did not get my way, because my sister made fun of me, or because I observe someone who is abusive to another? What about when I do not feel like loving someone else or even myself?

Simply put, we have lost the meaning of love. It is not about feeling good, though hopefully love does bring us abiding peace, joy, and spiritual growth. God continually from the beginning of time has shown us mercy, kindness, and compassion, as God faithfully responded to us, God’s Children. God desires that we love the Lord our God with our heart, mind, and spirit and love our neighbors in the same way God loves us. This means that we have to choose to show mercy, kindness, and compassion. God yearns for us to choose to love everyone we meet, to reciprocate what God shows to us, to be faithful just like God is faithful.

We cannot wait for a feeling to come to us. Jesus shows us his love by choosing to live beside us, die for us, and rise and ascend with us. No one can make us angry, happy, or sad. No one can make you love her or him. We have a choice regardless of our emotional state to love God and love our neighbor. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. I choose to love God and to love you!