Finding Your Place

On a balmy morning in early June of 2012 near Richmond, Virginia I met a strange woman. She stuck out her hand to greet me, but instead of saying her name she said, "Hello. I'm a foot. What are you?" We were at Roslyn Center, a beautiful place of retreat, at a preaching program for seminarians from across the Episcopal Church, and this loon just so happened to be in my group. At first, her presence was off putting. Who wants to develop new methods of sharing God's Good News with someone who introduces herself as a foot? However, the theme for the event was Preaching Paul, and she had immersed herself in the image of the Body of Christ. Then, oddly enough by the end of the week our entire small group was claiming our individual identities as parts that work together in Christ's living Body.

Sometimes I still wonder, what is my place? What member of the body am I? Am I something important like a hand, or am I something superfluous like an appendix? Could I be something grand like an eye, or am I just an eyelash? Nose, or nose hair? One of the most difficult things any of us ever attempt to do is to find our place within this world. Almost everyone wonders where he fits into the human family. And, every Christian at some point in her life journey wants to know what members she constitutes within the Body of Christ; however, if it is such a crucial and universal task to find one's place in the body how is it possible that so many people continue to wonder, "Where's my place?" Saint Paul's image of the body still gives us an individual and a collective hope of fitting into something bigger, but how do we do this? Perhaps, right now is the perfect time to continue your exploration of how it is that you personally live as part of the whole.

Every part of our year at St. John's provides a different rhythm. Fall gives order with new offerings fitting into the routine of the school year (and football season). Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany provide crescendo like build up to God's Incarnation. Lent provides for greater discipleship in preparation for the joys of Easter. Then, as the school year ends we celebrate the accomplishments of those making transitions. After all of this summer can feel like a "throw away" season when the members are spread out across not just the state but the globe. We may feel that we are not on the same page, which means this is the perfect period to develop your own spirituality. "But how?" you say. I am so happy you asked.

Pick up a book. May I recommend Jabbok by Bishop Kee Sloan? Evan's Monday morning class will begin covering that on July 25th. Come to the Sunday morning articles class. If you have ever wondered how your Faith intersects with culture and society, this class in which we discuss current news topics through the lens of our discipleship can provide clarity. Go on a retreat. St. Mary's Sewanee offers fantastic times of restoration and discernment just an hour and a half from Decatur. If you are interested in another way of seeing how you fit into the Body of Christ try the Enneagram Conference up at Camp Kanuga in October. St. John's is also planning a parents retreat to Gulf Shores this fall, so retreat opportunities abound. Try praying differently. Have you always read the Forward Day-By-Day, but you do not like the style of the current contributors? Read Morning Prayer instead or Richard Rohr's daily meditations. Serve and give. Still not sure how you fit into the Body of Christ? Try a new volunteering opportunity at the CCC clothing closet, stop by PACT to see if they need some help at their front desk, or pack a bag of non-perishable food items that you can offer to someone who is in need. Give financially to the work of God in this world by contributing to a ministry that is meeting a cause close to your heart. Ways to find your place are as numerous as members in the body!

Although I still wonder which part I am in the Body of Christ something tells me that I will always be pondering my place. As much as the ambiguity unsettles me, this not knowing gives me and us an opportunity. In each stage of life God gifts us the challenge of wondering again who we are, what our gifts are, and what our place in this world is. In response we get to trust in God and have faith, just as God is Faithful. Trying some new discipline this summer allows us to wonder in this season and beyond about who we are. As you make new discoveries in your discernment share these insights with me and with others for the eye cannot say to the ear I do not need you, and individual discernment enhances our collective ministry. Saint Paul still reminds us that we are One Body for we all partake in the one bread and we all are made to share the same cup. As you find your place in this body do not be afraid to share who you are, even if you may be a foot!

Be Healed OR Ask Jesus To Go?

What's hidden at the back of the fridge that is your life?

The Tupperware sits within my refrigerator hidden by the spinach, filtered water, and package of chicken. I forget what is in it for at least a little while. Was it the pulled pork I cooked in the crock pot or the leftover sautéed squash that I put in the plastic container? A few days pass. Then, a few more days. I still don’t open up the Tupperware. I kind of know that it’s there, but for some reason I do not acknowledge its existence. The smell of rotting food, the guilt of wasting resources, and the other demands on my day keep me from prying open the container. I finally get a moment one evening and discover it was leftover sweet potato fries. I really would have enjoyed eating those again I think too bad I did not want to look inside. If you are anything like me and you do not like dealing with stuff hidden away in a cold dark place, then you know more about demon-possession than you ever knew.

There was a man in the land of the Geresenes who was possessed by demons. Enough demons that the evil spirits called themselves “Legion,” like the giant Roman formation of troops. The demonic force recognized Jesus, and what happened next is painful to all of the bacon-lovers among us. The demons drove the pigs down a steep bank and into a lake where they drowned.

The swineherds told the rest of the town, the town members came to find Jesus, and imagine that they grabbed pitch forks, torches, and machetes to form a viciously angry mob. This group of peo-ple was going to confront this man who had broken up their barbeque and plunged their pork into a pool. The text never says that the Geresenes got freaked out by the man possessed by demons, even when he went running stark naked through the graveyard. (Can you imagine a burial with a streak-er?) However, when the Gersenes saw that the man formerly possessed by demons was in his right mind, they were afraid.

They were not scared of a man chained up by the tombs, unafraid of a man possessed by demons, but when this man came into his right mind they were filled with fear. This makes absolutely no sense. And, what happened next is shocking! The Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave. First they get freaked out by a formerly demon-possessed man who was healed, then they realize the potential of Jesus, and so they wanted nothing to do with it. WHY?! Why on earth would these people want Je-sus to leave? It has everything to do with Tupperware, well Tupperware and God.

Anything we hide away or forget about without dealing with it can end up rotting, producing guilt, and hit us at a time when we feel like we just do not have time to deal with it. It could be a skeleton in the closet, a small moment where we traumatized that we just have not dealt with yet, or that re-lationship that just feels off, but we are too afraid to say anything about it. The Gerasenes saw Jesus offering to get rid of the old Tupperware (or demons), but they were too used to the way things were, they were too accustomed to the crazy man being crazy to actually allow Jesus to stay.

They did not want to go through the difficult work of healing. They would have rather just let eve-rything stay the exact same. They wanted their bacon. They were okay with the crazy person being crazy. We do this too. And not just with the Tupperware. We do this with relationships, with our own problems, with complexes, old traumas and with communal issues. God worked through Christ Jesus then, and God still works through Christ now to bring healing, but it is not easy.

If God brings this healing and it actually works, then it means that God is real and not in our imag-ination. If this healing happens, then it means that we might actually have to give up something we really like to see more healing take place. If this healing takes place, then God is the one that is in control and not us, and yes, the Geresenes were right to be scared, for this is scary! God being in control can produce fear in us, as we are not just making up God and we are not making up what is happening, but instead we are living into the reality of God, the kingdom of God, the dream of God. The question is would we rather have the nightmare that is our world as the Geresenes saw it and as it still is today, or would we rather live into God’s dream for this world?

Often it seems we would rather just keep the status quo instead of finding a way to dream with God. We would rather allow people on FBI watch lists have access to purchasing guns than create a safer world. We would rather keep silent than stand up for those who are struggling to have equal rights because of their race, gender, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. We would rather Jesus leave than guide us through the hard work of healing, the pulling open of old Tupperware, and the casting out of demons.

In an age of too much violence are we willing to listen to the ancient dream heard in Micah and Isaiah to beat our swords into plowshares? In an era of exclusion are we able to break down the walls built in obtaining a false sense of security, so that we might live as one body? In a time of stink and rotting will we allow Jesus into our lives, so that we may do the difficult, but life-changing work of reconciliation? Or will we be like the Gerasenes and ask Jesus to go?

Healing is hard. It’s much more difficult than pulling out old Tupperware from the fridge. God’s work is reconciliation though, and if we live freely in God’s grace our response will lead us to being more like Jesus who sought healing and restoration for all. To be healed is as great a transformation as one man going from a demon-possessed streaker to being a fully clothed, sane follower of Jesus. What will you do? Be healed or ask Jesus to go!

Evelyn Underhill: Follow Jesus Personally and Corporately

Today we remember the mystic in disguise Evelyn Underhill

When you read the word "mystic" what is the first thing that pops into your head? Someone convulsing in a trance? A monk or a nun fasting and enraptured in a vision of the Almighty? Perhaps it is something even more bizarre? Raise your hand--yes, you at your computer screen, raise your hand--if when you heard the word “mystic” you thought of someone who enjoys yachting, gardening, bookbinding, and travel? That’s what I thought, you definitely did not think of that type of person! Common conceptions of mysticism often lead us to thinking of people that are slightly off, monastics who have been long fasting, individuals rubbing magic crystals, or other people on the fringe of society; however, in the early 20th Century Evelyn Underhill helped many mainstream people in the Church of England to discover that mysticism is an experience of the Divine meant for everyone!

Underhill, on the surface, appeared to be just a normal single child. The daughter of a barrister (lawyer) who was sent off to school to study languages, botany, philosophy, history, but certainly not theology. Her family may have baptized her, as was the almost universal custom in those days, but they did not bring her up in religion. From the age of 16 though Underhill developed one of her greatest talents, writing. For twenty years this gift led Underhill to writing articles and short pieces, but at the age of 36 she blossomed into a spiritual giant with the publication of Mysticism.

At the time mysticism was misunderstood, in much the same way it is now. Underhill through meticulous research and many trips to continental Europe cobbled together 133 different mystic writers throughout various ages to give people a more realistic glimpse of this spiritual experience. In this book, one of her two masterpieces, Underhill laid out four components to demystify mysticism.

First, the practice of mysticism is not voodoo, it’s not even theological, instead it is practical. It is an intense spiritual experience that leads not just to speculation, but to action. Next, mystic practice aims not to solve some problem, but it is instead a spiritual activity unto itself. Third, the way to do mysticism is to love, not like an emotional rollercoaster expression of sentiment, but rather a dedicated, committed love of a doting spouse. Finally, mysticism involves the entire self: heart, mind, body, and spirit; conscious and unconscious. For many people these four defining characteristics shifted how they viewed mysticism. Instead of it being something for a few, it became a practice of the many.

On some small level Evelyn Underhill bringing mysticism to 20th Century England was a big transition away from the past and towards something that we still experience to this day. Even though the Protestant Reformation had begun about 400 years before her life, Underhill shifted some prevailing spiritual practices of the Middle Ages. Most notably, people believed that certain spiritual experiences were meant only for those who lived in a monastery. Underhill continued what other spiritual reformers had begun, she made it possible for the common lay person to understand that their own household could experience something previously confined to a spiritual community. She exemplified that every household is in itself like a microcosmic church or intentional community.

Evelyn Underhill brought the spiritual practice of living mystically into focus for so many Christians in England. And yet, that is not all that she did. She also spent much of the second half of her life connecting contemplative practice to a contemplative life of action. A contemplative practice like centering prayer, silent meditation, or Lectio Divina helps individuals to come in contact with the ever present Spirit of God. Still Underhill’s example showed that life cannot be confined simply to spiritual practice, but it necessarily leads us to an active life in Christ.

One of Underhill’s closest friends and her spiritual director, Baron Friedrich von Hugel challenged her to move from what was most comfortable to her into a space where she might meet Jesus. For Underhill this meant that instead of just staying in the theoretical she was challenged to spend a couple of days each week working in the slums of London. This practical spiritual practice and time spent in community with a local parish led to her second great work Worship. This book focused not on the individual spiritual journey developed in mysticism, but the life-giving spiritual life that overflows from a church’s week-to-week worship and life together.

Underhill inspired so many in both of these works, in her appearance as the first female lecturer at Oxford University, as retreat leader (even to all male clergy retreats), in weekly radio addresses, and in the way that she lived her life. It is through someone like Evelyn Underhill that we remember Jesus’ example of both individual and communal spiritual practices and how they lead us into a deeper realization that God’s presence pervades all things, all people, and all places. Let us follow her example and live both personally and corporately as followers of Jesus devoting our lives to a greater connection with Christ who dwells within, among, and beyond us. Amen.

The Church of the Future

IT’S SUMMERTIME!!! Okay, so summer technically is not here until June 21st, it already feels in full swing with camp sessions, beach trips, and warmer temperatures. In the life of our church, this season always deceives me. I continue to think that as the rhythm of the school year slows down, I can take a deep breath and float through the summer months. Surprisingly though, the life of St. John’s Church does not go into hibernation during these hot months, but instead not only do we continue our normal pattern of worship, we also catch a glimpse of the Church of the future at work.

Have you ever noticed that people in the Church love to worry about the future of the Church? I have yet to go to a clergy gathering without someone mentioning how to get younger people in the pews. When I scour trendy priest-blogs—yes, these exist—so many of them point to dire Pew Research Center results about how many members the Church has lost recently, and then mention how we might avoid our doomed fate to disintegrate into nonexistence. Even in our own parish hall, sacristy, and library we worry over what will become of the Church of the future. And yet, if we only focus upon the future, attracting a certain subset of people, and keeping our numbers up, we are being the Church (the Living Body of Christ) all wrong.

During my first clergy conference—when the clergy people of the Diocese of Alabama gather for renewal, fun, and a little bit of worrying—I was participating in some serious fellowship exercises playing poker with Bishop Kee and some wise clergy. In the midst of this light-hearted moment, Kee subtly used this opportunity to teach those gathered a lesson, and not just one about playing cards. He asked me how I was enjoying being a young priest. I gave him a polished response fit for a seminary textbook. Instead of telling me that I did not need to put on airs for him, the Bishop while dealing out the cards told me a story.

When Kee was a young priest in the Diocese of Mississippi he loved and revered his bishop, and the more-experienced clergy of that era. The Episcopal Church in Mississippi and its diocesan camp had been the place where Kee was loved into that person who was called to serve as a priest in the Church. And while he respected the stalwarts of the Faith that had guided him, he also knew that they were human beings. They made mistakes, just like the generation before them. They struggled with change, just like the generations before them. They had great triumphs, just like the generation before them.

At the end of saying all this Kee leaned over to me and said, “I am getting to a time when I am part of that older generation, and when I was your age, I always wished that my elders had invited me into building the Church that was to come. This is your invitation to keep building the Church. And, if I ever get in the way of God’s work being done just pull on my arm and tell me to get out of the way.” I was speechless. I don’t remember saying anything else the rest of the night, even when I was the big winner taking $12 off the old priests and the bishop—a considerable amount of money given the buy-in. What I learned in that moment is that if the bishop is willing to be told to get out of the way, I must be willing to do that too.

Last week, I spent time with our youth on the EYC Work Week. Next week, St. John’s will be transformed into the land of Egypt as we put on our Vacation Bible School. In addition to these local moments of the Church of the future already being here, young people from all over our diocese will be a part of Camp McDowell, Foothills Day Camp, Sawyerville Day Camp, Special Session, Young People Paint Birmingham, and so much more this summer. I do not anticipate a time when I will need to pull the Bishop aside to tell him that he is in the way of God’s work being done; however, I do think we would all be wise to see that the Church of the future is actually the Church of right now!

Our other bishop, Bishop Santosh, when he visited with us on Sunday morning, described the beauty of the Church in how we take care of one another. We constantly reach across generations in this Church. Each cohort has something to contribute, but to be the fullest, richest, and healthiest Body we can be we must make room for all generations right now, not just down the line when they have proven themselves. There is no Church of the future, it will always be the Church right now, so how will we right now welcome all generations to God’s Table in God’s Church?

No longer

The events of early Sunday morning in Orlando continue to upset me. Terrifying stories of club-goers texting their parents, as they feared for their lives, or running from Pulse not knowing if they would ever see their friends again seem so surreal. And yet, this is the reality of 2016 America. In this same reality people post messages on Social Media saying they knew this type of religiously motivated terrorism would happen, and even posts congratulating Omar Mateen because he killed LGBTQ people. How do I respond to this sickening, disgusting reality? 

At first, I just want to scream at it! To rage against it, or maybe even to speak to the violence in some manner that it could understand. Except I once heard noted Northern Irish theologian Peter Rollins speak about violence. He said that to respond with the force of violence is to end conversation, to stop dialogue from continuing. Screaming, raging, and using force cannot be my response, for it cancels furthering relationship even with those filled with hate.

My next instinct takes me to thinking on those and praying for those who were killed, injured, or scarred in some other way by Sunday morning’s events. While prayer is a deeply personal practice, I have seen some criticize both the shallowness and the hypocrisy of offering thoughts and prayers for those in Orlando. I think I understand the anger from these comments. Those who offer up hollow prayers or write that they are praying just so others will pay them attention frustrate me too. And, confusing is someone who condemns LGBTQ people in one breath and offers prayers up for them the next. Prayer though is not something that I do for others to see, instead it is something done behind closed doors between God and me. 

A prayerfully lived existence though leads beyond closed doors and into some place of action. The place that I end up this morning is remembering what Paul wrote to the Church of Galatia, “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). These words are critical as to how I follow Christ Jesus. I am given a mandate to no longer view people through their outward appearance, their religious identity, their gender identification, their legal status, their sexual preference, or any other distinguishing characteristic that I or the world around me fixates upon in a given moment. Instead, I am called to see through the lens of Christ who welcomed the poor, the weak, the naked, the hungry, the stranger, the outcast, and any who was considered sinful or different by the prevailing culture. Through this lens reality looks different.

Jesus envisioned a different reality, an Ultimate Reality that caused the ridiculous cultural reality to cower and crumble. In the Ultimate Reality the vulnerable overthrow the fearful status quo, weapons are beaten into tools of creation, everyone has enough, respect abounds, and love exists in such abundance that it is hard not to see it everyone I look. The trouble in moments like right now is to remember that Jesus already initiated this Reality. It already exists! Prayer, solitude, a contemplative lifestyle, service, Divine Liturgy, and so much more in the Life of Christ all point to remembering this reality. This remembering is how I am called to exist. Remembering this is not easy and I feel the tension and the clashing between God’s dream and what is happening in this world. So, I will keep praying and remembering, but as I remember I will no longer...

Be silent when others express bigotry of any kind...

Condone such lethal weapons being so readily available to people who are known to be dangerous...

See people through the ridiculous reality of hatred, fear, culture, but instead view others through the lens of Christ.

We can no longer live in this ridiculous reality, may we remember God's Ultimate Reality of respect for all, protecting the weak, and loving everyone!

Shame and Guilt: A Lesson of A Sinful Woman

Brené Brown makes a very important distinction between shame and guilt in her second TED talk. Guilt is feeling bad for doing something wrong. For example, I really messed up that math test. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling bad for being someone wrong. I am messed up and a bad person because I didn’t do well on that math test. In this coming Sunday’s gospel story we learn what freedom from that latter looks like in real life.

In the Luke 7:36-8:3 story a Pharisee invites Jesus to dinner. In the midst of the dinner a woman in the city “who was a sinner” found out that Jesus was dining at this home, so she went out of her way to go and get a costly jar of ointment, and came to the Pharisee’s home. This woman wept and wept and wept, so much so that she could wipe Jesus’ dirty feet with the tearful solution. She kissed Jesus’ feet, and even broke open the oil to care for them. We never discover precisely why she felt the need to do this, but we can look around at the clues in this story to find out more.

The narrator in the story never lists the woman’s name and uses the straightforward descriptor, “who was a sinner.” To me this points out that she was not someone who felt she had done something wrong, but her entire identity was wrapped up in this term. Her name was sinner. At least her name used to be sinner.

Something had obviously happened between Jesus and this woman, or maybe she wanted some holy transaction to occur. The Pharisee was still focused on the old identity of shame that he had established for this woman, but Jesus was much more interested in what was happening in that moment. Whatever she had done in the past was gone. In the place of that entity of sinfulness the woman had put on a new being of service.

I believe this means that this display of kindness and service was a step in a new direction for this courageous woman. She no longer wanted to be the sinful woman, she knew through following Jesus the true reality that lies within all of us. We are made good in our creation, we are restored to goodness in our salvation through Christ, and we are perpetually remade into goodness through the power of the Spirit. It’s easy to forget this. It’s even easy to think that when we make a mistake it’s because we are bad, stupid, ignorant, unworthy, cursed, etc. This isn’t the truth.

We all make mistakes. When we do we may see them as misguided actions or we may choose to believe that these mistakes are part of our identity as sinners. Through Jesus we see that Christ’s redemptive works make us no longer shameful sinners, but redeemed children of God who may make mistakes, but always have a God who serves us through forgiving us. How will we serve in response to God’s love like this woman did?

As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us…

Seth and James rocking out at ACL Fest 2011 (You'd never know that these two love theological discourse)

Yesterday I wrote this post about this coming Sunday’s Gospel (Luke 7:36-8:3), and my friend James Mason (who is in an awesome band called The Roosevelts, you should definitely check them out and buy their music) left a couple of comments on FaceBook that got me thinking. First, he wrote, “At first I struggled with your sentiment that ‘greater sin leads to greater love.’ But that's because I have never read that particular gospel. When Jesus says, ‘Whoever has been forgiven little loves little’... That forces a HUGE ideology shift in the mindset of most Christian thinking.” Then he added, “I love thinking of receiving forgiveness as a prerequisite before you can give Love. It roots Love as a byproduct of self-awareness rather than a byproduct of hoping that other people like you.” During my morning run today these two thoughts coalesced and mingled together, and I wrestled with a more succinct way to articulate this idea of God’s forgiveness opening us up to love. Then, it hit me.

During my freshman year of undergraduate studies at Sewanee I applied to be a sacristan (along with James and some other stellar individuals). Eight of us in this class of sacristans essentially took on another elective class to prepare for the work of tending to All Saints’ Chapel. I learned a lot in those classes (like that the thing that keeps your hand from getting hot wax on it when processing with candles is called a bobeche), but one of the most interesting things I learned was that almost any time Episcopalians pray using our common prayer book we say the Lord’s Prayer. This makes sense, right? The disciples said, “Teach us to pray,” Jesus responded with what is now a familiar prayer, and now anytime we pray we too repeat those words. The trouble with saying that pray over and over again is that we can forget what we are saying.

“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us,” Jesus said. Right after he spoke of asking God to give us our daily bread Jesus taught his disciples a lesson on forgiveness. If reconciliation comes immediately after sustenance think how important this must be for living life in Christ, life in the Kingdom of God. Forgiveness is like the oxygen that keeps the body of love living and breathing! The strange thing though is that this line in the Lord’s Prayer is still somewhat mystical to us two thousand years later. We still struggle to understand exactly what it means. Here are some options:

1. Are we forgiving others’ sins so that God will forgive us? This sentiment does not adhere to the nature of God. God might sometimes appear vindictive to us, but I believe, and Christian Tradition maintains, that God is a merciful God, forgiving to the thousandth generation even.

2. Are we forgiving others’ sins at the same time God forgives us? I think this might be a misunderstanding of grammar and theology. God exists outside of time, so this would not really make sense either.

3. Are we forgiving others as we have been forgiven ourselves? YES! At least I think so. This fits with the nature of a merciful, loving, and forgiving God.

God’s forgiveness is a prerequisite for us loving. And while I love self-awareness (although it ought to come with a warning label) and agree that once we recognize how much God has forgiven us it is only natural to extend that type of grace to others, I want to make one thing very clear: we do not and cannot do anything to deserve, destroy, or alter God’s love for and God's forgiveness of us! Yes, our forgiving others is an extension of God’s forgiveness, but even if we never get close to becoming aware of God’s overwhelming love for us God’s love will never change for us. It is everlasting.

I am so grateful for James, for his friendship, and for his thought-provoking comments. Love is not hoping that someone will like us, rather love extends from God. We begin our life in this love knowing that we are created, redeemed, and sustained by the Almighty Divine One who wants nothing more than for us to know this truth and to share this Good News with all whom we meet. Be aware that God forgives and also be aware that if we are not aware that God forgives God still forgives!