Tell Us Plainly

This Sunday we celebrate the Good Shepherd, but won't he tell us plainly?

This coming Sunday's Gospel reading comes from John 10, as we celebrate Good Shepherd Sunday. While at some point my thinking and preparation for Sunday night's sermon will inevitably turn towards the many examples of Jesus being our Good Shepherd, I am struck today by the words of some faithful Jews: "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly." My focus zeroes in on these words because so often my anxious prayer to God sounds eerily similar to that of these religious leaders who are my spiritual ancestors.

About this time three years ago when I was discerning where my first call to ordained ministry would be I prayed, "GOD, just tell my plainly where I am to go." As my fiancee and I discerned a call to marriage I wanted God to just give me a simple sign. Way back when I wanted to know if I ought to go to seminary out in Austin, Texas I pleaded with God to let me know in a clear way. I imagine that whenever I face a stressful stretch of life my instinct will be to pray, "Do not keep me in suspense. Let me know what I am to do." But, doesn't this way of praying deny the act of faith?

When I was going through my rage against the Church and God phase in college I thought of the word faith as this phrase that simple-minded, religious folk used to keep themselves from thinking too hard or too much. Now I feel remorse that I thought that way, but I am happy that I struggled with how I define faith. To be faithful means that I will be in suspense. To be faithful means that I will not get the precise sign that I want or need. To be faithful requires that sometimes I walk in the dark, not knowing entirely that God is walking right beside me.

The life of a faithful follower of God will inevitably lead to moments when she does not know what the hell she is doing, and yet, somehow she still knows that God is leading her a step at a time. My hope is that I might be so wise as to have faith to not let my anxiety be my guide, but instead allow the Good Shepherd to call me onward. As sheep we will not know the reasoning of the Shepherd, we will certainly want to say "tell us plainly," and we will not like the suspense of walking by faith, but that is the great work of our lives (spiritual and otherwise) to trust that God walks with us, leading us wherever we go.