Wonders and Signs

Wonders can be distracting from the signs that direct us.

John 4:43-54 inspires this homily.

A couple of weeks before I was ordained a priest (a little over a year ago) my sister Elin called to check in with me. Elin is my only sibling, eight years older than me. She is married to a wonderful man, they have three beautiful children, and she is an Episcopalian of the high church variety. When she and I get together we typically get into trouble. Our mother has actually forbid us from going to any future Ash Wednesday services together because one year right before my sister led the singing of the Psalm at that solemn liturgy, I said to her, “Remember you are but dust and to butt dust you shall return.” So when she called me to talk about my ordination, I hoped there was more to the call than just some questions about the service.

She asked me, “Well, what am I supposed to call you once you are ordained a priest?” Good Episcopalians like my sister call their priests either “Father” or “Mother.” I could hear my sister smiling through the phone, but I was not sure what she should call me. Then, she questioned, “Am I supposed to call you Father Brother?” I burst out laughing. She continues to call me Father Brother. Of course, the silliness of this encounter paled in comparison to what my mother said a couple of days later, “Well, I would like to call you Father Son.” “What?” I replied, “You are not going to call me that.” My mom continued, “Of course, it would be great if you could find a girl named Holy Spirit, then I could introduce you as, ‘Father Son’ and ‘Holy Spirit.’” When my family joked with me in this way I realized just like Jesus that ministers, like prophets have a hard go of it in their own country, within their own community, and especially with their own family.

It is not easy ministering to people who changed your diapers, washed your mouth out with soap, or picked fights with you over who got to ride shotgun. Someone asked me if I would ever want to go back to work at my home church. I immediately thought, “NO!” They may love me now, but what kind of expectations exist for home-grown ministers? Christ himself performed his deeds of power, taught ferociously, and showed signs of God in Galilee and Jerusalem rather than in his hometown of Nazareth.

So what? Are we supposed to escape from the foolishness of our youth by moving away from home so we can show how great we are to people who do not know us? Do we ignore the things that our children do that make us think of the Divine? Are we never to notice God’s presence in those who are right next to us?

We may struggle with seeing God in those closest to us for many reasons. We might think we know who she really is. We may believe that God could not possibly work through him. We could be holding astronomically high expectations for anyone and everyone who claims to be a servant of God.

Jesus said, “Unless you see signs and wonders you do not believe.” We can so easily fall into this trap of searching for signs and wonders from those around us and even more so from God. Maybe you have said prayers, as I have, like “Father, let my team win” or “God, help my enemy to change his mind” or even “Jesus, help me find my keys.” Our prayer life can devolve into directing God to do exactly what we want God to do. This is not praying though, this is demanding. Jesus says to us too, “Unless you see signs and wonders you do not believe.” Are we only interested in the wonders or are we looking where the signs are pointing?

A couple of years ago I began again a practice I had learned about during my time undergraduate studies at Sewanee. Almost every day I practice Centering Prayer. In Centering Prayer one rests in the presence of God dwelling in quiet for twenty minutes or so. The purpose is not getting rid of thoughts or pushing away any activity in one’s mind, but to familiarize ourselves with God’s first language of silence. We do not ask for anything. We just look within at where the signs are pointing. Our life of prayer and our Faith cannot hinge upon God answering all our prayers just as we think best. Rather, we must learn that God constantly speaks in and with us yearning to be in deeper relationship with us.

We can take our concerns to the Jesus as the royal official did, for Christ always listens. And yet, our Faith grows, as we learn not just to speak, but also to listen for God. The Divine is all around us in the people nearest and dearest to us AND in the people who we typically walk passed. Are you too busy looking for the wonders to see where the signs are pointing?