Divorce, Remarriage, and Adultery: For it is to such as these that the Kingdom of God belongs?

Does Jesus mean to say that divorce and remarriage equals adultery? Picture from David R. Taylor's Blog.

Today's Scripture Lessons, which inspire today's sermon.

Unlike me all of you have most assuredly never had any relationship issues. Whether with friends, family members, or a spouse, your interpersonal interactions shine with only happiness, peace, and love. You are supposed to be laughing right now. Truthfully, I know that everyone struggles in his or her own connections with loved ones; however, so often what these tussles devolve into resembles something I like to call, “The Blame Game.”

I am not beyond this game. In fact, I wrestle with those sticky feelings whenever I try to acquit myself from wrongdoing in an interaction that seems awry. When I find myself passing the proverbial buck I think of Peter denying his relationship with Jesus three times before the cock crowed. Not only did Simon-Peter not take blame for any rabble-rousing, but he also refused even knowing Jesus. When I come face-to-face with conflict so often I want to push away my part of the problem.

Shoving away responsibility in relationships is nothing new for men. The religious and social norms of Jesus’ day did not give much power to women. In fact, the Pharisees’ concept of divorce focused strictly on the husband ending the relationship. If a man felt as though something in the marriage was inadequate, then it clearly was the woman’s fault. Does this at all sound familiar? Not just my seemingly male-given right to deny any culpability, but think back even to the first partners. Adam when pressed by the Creator immediately passed the blame to Eve. In today’s gospel lesson, though Jesus attempted to reshape this typical pattern. Taken at face value contemporary Christians have seen this gospel story as a means to proving that only men and women belong together. That was not Jesus’ concern.

Jesus centered upon the equality of marriage in this encounter with the Pharisees. He did not speak on our current debate about the equality between heterosexual and homosexual marriage, but rather Jesus critically shifted the fault in the matter of divorce away from merely women. Christ Jesus diffused the blame game when it came to matters of adultery. Essentially he said, this is not just about the spouse that society sees as the weaker. No longer shall a man use a woman as a scapegoat for the demise of a marriage. This partnership, which God joins together requires the work of both people.

So what do we do when partners divorce and remarry? Are both to wear a scarlet A on their garments? My parents got divorced when I was eleven, and both have moved on with their lives. Some of my dearest friends have been divorced and are remarried, so are they all adulterers? On the surface it appears that from Jesus’ perspective divorce and remarriage equals adultery and therefore sinfulness. However, the story of the children coming to Jesus falls too closely on the heels of his assessment of divorce and remarriage for us to completely avoid it.

Even more so than women, children occupied the lowest rung on the societal ladder of Jesus’ day. Unlike today, children were not seen as cute, although their place in the religious institutions back then strangely mimics our own. They were not to be seen or heard during synagogue meetings, or most of the rest of the time either. So if Jesus wanted to bring to him even those who occupied the weakest place in society, what did he yearn to do with those who were considered adulterers, tax collectors, and sinners? How did Jesus treat the least among him?

Jesus’ sense of love extended and still reaches beyond any of our social constraints or our understanding of who deserves love. He was radical in his inclusion of those outside the normal boundaries that were created by the systems of power. Who is it that we are supposed to love that does not typically fit within our understanding of who God loves? What group of people resting outside our understanding of God’s Chosen people need us to welcome them inside God’s Church? Who needs you to show God’s love? Let them come to you, like the little children came to Jesus, and learn to love them without blame, guilt, or conditions! Amen.