Nicodemus couldn’t sleep again. The all too familiar feeling of anxiety ravaged through his stomach, like menacing butterflies the size of pterodactyls. His wife, Miriam, lay beside him in their king-size bed. She could sense his worry, and it made her worry too. As she drifted off into an uneasy sleep, Nicodemus starred at the ceiling. The mortgage, the bills, the children’s education all added up. These problems alone though did not keep this religious leader from resting easy; no something else was the matter. By morning he had all the covers wrapped around him like some sort of cocoon of worry; yet for Nicodemus there was no metamorphosis, no change, and no growth. The only butterfly was in his gut.
Nicodemus arose before the sun, and standing in the pre-dawn glow he could see the dark circles around his eyes growing ever more visible in the mirror. Seeing Miriam resting peacefully in the reflection Nicodemus remembered the promises he made to her on their wedding night: trips to the Mediterranean, family vacations, and putting in his time early so they could enjoy their later years together. These hopes vanished as his focus returned to his rapidly aging face. Looking into his own eyes he recognized an emptiness.
Following every word of the Law, working harder than every other Pharisee, arriving earlier and leaving later, but still Nicodemus felt hollow. Like a wineskin with no wine within or an inn with no visitors, Nicodemus’ soul felt bare and vacant. Kissing Miriam and his children goodbye as the sun was rushing to crest the horizon, Nicodemus hurried to the Temple to lead the morning prayers. If he felt any peace embracing his two boys it disappeared as he left his home. His thoughts turned to the upcoming Passover festivities and the meeting of the Sanhedrin, the religious council, this morning.
The council dispatched with old business quickly, then an elder member of the council brought up an explosive, new topic. His calculating words cut through the stale air of the conference room, like a snake darting through withered grass, “What are we to do about this upstart teacher from Galilee? He is gaining followers, you know, disciples even! My sources tell me that he has even performed some mighty signs, turning water into wine at a wedding.”
Another voice emerged, “Where is he now?” The elder Pharisee replied, “Capernaum with his family.” Nicodemus, intrigued by the miraculous deeds and exhausted from his insomnia, forgot himself and excitedly piped up, “Do you think he will come to the Passover?” Before he could even finish his sentence, Nicodemus knew that the emotions worn on his decorated sleeve had given away his giddiness. In his desperation, Nicodemus secretly hoped he’d meet this itinerant miracle worker. The elder Pharisee looked down at Nicodemus and snarled. Another distinguished leader with long fringes and broad phylacteries interrogated, “Nicodemus, why does it matter if this man shows up? Why do you care?” A pragmatic voice cut off the questioning to get back to business, “This week, we need extra security at the Temple to prepare for this man… What is his name again?” The elder Pharisee replied disgustedly, “Jesus.”
Although Passover begins at sundown, Nicodemus left long before sunrise on the first day of the festivity. As he made his way to the Temple, he allowed himself a hopeful thought, “Maybe, just maybe, God will show me a sign today,” and in this brief moment the tension within him dissipated until he neared the Temple.
Suddenly, right as he entered the gates he heard shouting, then the crack of a whip, he ran to see what was happening. A rough looking man, was driving out the merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. As the vendors scattered in all directions, the unkempt man flipped over their tables and spoke, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” Nicodemus wondered if this was the man, and a verse from Scripture arose, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” Other Pharisees just arriving began to question this man’s motives, but all Nicodemus wanted to know was “When can I meet him?”
Several Pharisees, seething at Jesus’ irreligious behavior and his disrespect for their Tradition, watched him carefully for a misstep. Nicodemus looked on with eager curiosity, hoping for another sign. Seeing Jesus heal a man blind since birth, Nicodemus made up his mind he would risk his status within the Sanhedrin so that he could meet with this Jesus.
The night the Passover was finishing, Nicodemus told his wife he was going to seek out this mighty healer, in hopes of a sign that might fill the emptiness within him. Miriam urged her husband to find healing. Then Nicodemus pulled up his cloak to hide his identity and hurried through the streets to the outskirts of Jerusalem.
Scouring the Sanhedrin’s intelligence network Nicodemus had discovered where Jesus was staying, and after waking a few neighbors in search of his exact location, Nicodemus met two of his disciples. Simon-Peter and Andrew, asleep in the outer room, groggily went to fetch their teacher. Jesus emerged silently from his sleeping quarters, lit a candle, poured some wine for his guest and asked if his guest was hungry.
Speechless, Nicodemus could not initially reply to the hospitality. Never, not once, in all the years of serving in the Temple had Nicodemus felt such a rush of spiritual energy. Jesus’ eyes beamed in the candlelight and Nicodemus could tell that when he looked at him Jesus was looking deep within his soul.
Anxiously, Nicodemus tried to cue up the questions that he had prepared, but he blabbered, “Teacher, uh… we know that you are a… uh teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these… eh, signs that you do apart from the presence of… um God.”
Before he could continue, Jesus swiftly replied, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Confused and wearied by his many sleepless nights, Nicodemus’ legal and literal mind churned out a logical question, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?”
Jesus wiped some sleep from his eyes, and attempted to broaden Nicodemus’ spiritual horizons, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Perplexed even more by this Nicodemus’ head was swimming in a vast ocean of questions, he clumsily reached for the life boat, “How can these things be?”
With a reassuring smile, Jesus replied, “Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things? Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen; yet the Pharisees do not receive our testimony. If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.”
Nicodemus still reeling from how one can be born of the Spirit, could barely keep up with Jesus now, it felt as though his mind was sprinting just to keep up with Jesus’ pace. The Pharisee wondered, “Am I just here to understand the signs? Who is this? How is one born again? Is this the Son of Man?” But in the midst of the swirling sea of inquiries, Nicodemus realized that something strange was happening. His heart felt alive and his spirit felt awake for the first time in weeks, months, maybe even years. Cutting through the questions, the literalism, and the legalism Jesus spoke words that forever rang in Nicodemus’ soul:
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”
Nicodemus emptied his cup of wine, his soul full for the first time in years, and as he left Jesus, the sun was rising.
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