There have only been a handful of times when I have really gotten into real trouble in my life. I mean the type of trouble where one is called to the principal's, camp director's, or coach's office. It is funny how those particular memories are etched into the fabric of my being. Shame cannot come out with just one wash, instead it takes years of spinning around and rinsing. I can remember one such encounter very vividly.
I had done something at camp that was a clear violation of the rules. When the camp director confronted my cohorts and me, we were all very meek, humiliated, and saddened by our thoughtless behavior. Still, I felt that I was more guilty by association than an outright offender and in a private meeting I pleaded my case. One of the camp matriarchs found out about trying to pass the buck, and she simply said, "If a man does not have his word, what does he have?" My mouth gets dry thinking about that moment. As if I had just swallowed salt water, yet it seemed that I had lost my saltiness.
This coming Sunday's gospel follows the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12):
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Jesus' short list of those who are blessed enlightens this message about salt and light. The poor, those who mourn, the meek, the hungry, the merciful, the pure, the peacemakers, and the righteously persecuted all receive blessings. To be blessed is to be salt and to be light. I imagine most of us at some point have been one of these blessed. Yet, for us to deny this blessing is for us to lose our saltiness and to block out the light. While I am not one for using shame as punishment, there is a difference between denying the Truth to avoid the shame of punishment and recruiting shame as a fear tactic. In my moment of denial I lost my saltiness, I blocked out the light of what it is to be blessed.
Now, I am not condoning seeking delinquent, illicit, or immoral behavior for the sake of experiencing some sort of persecution. Rather, I am saying that in our poverty, sorrow, meekness, hunger, mercy, purity, peace-seeking, and persecuted states we receive God's presence. When we are in a rather impoverished spiritual state we can clearly see God walking with us in ways that are not always apparent when we are riding high spiritually.
Additionally, I do not think getting in trouble for not following camp rules constitutes righteous persecution, rather in the shamed state I occupied, I clearly felt a closeness with God who called me into a deeper relationship. Jesus fulfilled the Law not so we could ignore it, but so that we might with him feel blessings and keep growing deeper in our saltiness and our lightness. Now I wonder, "How do we teach that we are blessed in our weakness without instilling shame in one another?"
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