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You probably know of the Golden Rule, but have you heard of the Platinum Rule? |
©2025 The Rev. Seth Olson
This sermon was inspired by the above readings and was preached on the 7th Sunday after the Epiphany at the Episcopal Church of the Holy Apostles in Hoover, AL. A video of the sermon may be found here.
Holy God, may my words be your words, and when my words are not your words, may your people be wise enough to know the same. Amen.
If we’re honest, the words of Jesus in today’s Gospel lesson from Luke are some of the most challenging in all of Holy Scripture: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” This is a tall ask from Jesus—one that seems almost impossible, especially when the world feels more fractured and polarized than ever.
Jesus doesn’t leave much room for loopholes here either. He doesn’t say, “Love your enemies if they apologize first.” Nor does he command, “Do good to those who hate you if they meet you halfway.” No, his commandments are direct and uncompromising. And it’s not just for the sake of moral superiority—it’s about transformation. Loving our enemies is about participating in the redemptive work of God, both in the world and within ourselves.
But how do we live into that love, especially when the wounds are fresh or the divisions are deep? It might help to begin by revisiting a rule we know well—the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” It’s foundational to our faith and to many cultures worldwide. Treat others with the dignity and respect you wish for yourself.
Yet, in our increasingly complex world, some ethicists and theologians suggest we move beyond the Golden Rule to something even more radical—the Platinum Rule: Love others as they wish to be loved. It's not just about treating neighbors how I would want to be treated but about recognizing the unique needs, desires, and dignity of another person—even when that person appears to be an enemy.
To love an enemy in this way requires humility. It means setting aside our egos and listening deeply—not to agree, necessarily, but to understand. It means recognizing that each person, no matter how much we struggle to see it, is beloved by God. That’s the heart of this Gospel message—God’s love isn’t transactional. It’s not earned. It flows freely, even to those who oppose us.
Think of Joseph in our reading from Genesis. His brothers betrayed him, sold him into slavery, and left him for dead. Yet, when he stood in a position of power, able to exact revenge, Joseph chose mercy. “Do not be afraid,” he said, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good.” Joseph didn’t just tolerate his brothers—he actively chose reconciliation, seeing them not through the lens of past hurt but through the lens of God’s redemptive love.
This is also the challenge and the hope of Christian love—not just to love those who are easy to love but to love as God loves—without condition, without boundary, without exception. It doesn’t mean allowing abuse or ignoring injustice—Jesus’ command is not a call to passivity. Rather, it’s a call to respond to hate with love so radical that it breaks cycles of harm.
One powerful way to break these cycles is through what psychologists call "non-complementary behavior." Typically, human interactions follow a predictable pattern: kindness is met with kindness, hostility with hostility. But non-complementary behavior flips the script—responding to aggression with warmth, to contempt with compassion. It’s disarming because it defies expectations. It short-circuits a worldview built on “us vs. them.”
There’s a remarkable story shared on an old episode of the NPR podcast Invisibilia about a dinner party when the guests faced down an armed robber. Instead of reacting with fear or anger, they offered the man a glass of wine. This simple act of hospitality broke the cycle of aggression. While it was a disturbing encounter that left the guests in shock, the intruder, caught off guard by this unexpected kindness, put down his weapon, sat down to talk, and even asked for a group hug at the end of the encounter. The situation de-escalated, not through force, but through love extended in the face of threat.
This is precisely what Jesus calls us to do—not to match hostility with hostility but to respond in a way that transforms the encounter altogether. It’s hard. It feels unnatural. And, it can sometimes be dangerous, and I usually do not advocate us stepping into harms way, but sometimes that radical hospitality is the way love gains ground in a world bent on division.
So how might we live into this Platinum Rule, especially when love feels like the last thing we want to offer?
First, we can start with prayer—not just for those we love but for those who challenge us, oppose us, or are otherwise our enemies. It’s hard to hate someone you’re genuinely praying for. In prayer, we invite God to soften our hearts and to remind us of our shared humanity.
Second, we can choose curiosity over judgment. Y’all know I love the series Ted Lasso and in one of my favorite scenes of the whole show, the titular character quotes Walt Whitman while playing darts. “Be curious, not judgmental.” This sort of wondering has the power to completely transform our world or at least us. For when we are faced with someone who seems like an enemy, we can bypass our normal assumptions and stereotyping by pondering: What pain might they be carrying? What story haven’t I heard? How does God see this beloved one? This doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it opens the door to compassion.
And finally, we can act—small, deliberate acts of love that defy expectations. A kind word. An invitation to conversation. A willingness to see beyond labels and ideologies to the beloved child of God standing before us. At the same time, it is important not to deny our own belovedness. In the abundant kingdom of God, one does not have to be diminished for another to be enlarged. My Theology Professor in seminary called this non-competitive transcendence when we all rise together.
So, these are three ways to begin practicing this Platinum Rule in your own life: prayer, curiosity, and small acts of kindness.
In conclusion, this kind of love—enemy-love, Platinum Rule love—is not easy. But it is the way of Christ. It’s the love that led him to the cross and the love that broke the power of evil, sin, and even death. It’s the love that has the power to transform not just individual hearts but entire communities. It’s the love that changes this world from the nightmare it often is to the dream God has for it.
So, as we approach the altar today—as we receive Christ's Body and Blood, given for all—may we be strengthened to love not just as we wish to be loved, but as our neighbors, our enemies, and all God’s children wish to be loved. And, in this love we will glimpse the very heart of God.
Amen.